


The New Woman in Maura's Life

by storm_8



Category: Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: F/F, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-15
Updated: 2013-06-17
Packaged: 2017-12-15 01:30:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/843746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storm_8/pseuds/storm_8
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is a new woman in Maura's life. But it's not like Jane thinks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The New Woman in Maura's Life

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own the show or its characters. I merely borrow them for everyone's enjoyment.  
> I do own the original characters: I am quite fond of them!  
> All mistakes are mine.

Dr. Maura Isles took pride in her independence, her seemingly limitless knowledge on everything (Jane’s words, not hers) and her ability to adapt to any changes occurring in her life, provided she could comprehend the reasons behind said change and possible advantages that could come out of it. Which is why she felt like running away screaming for the hills when her cousin’s teenage daughter knocked on her door, duffel bag and skateboard in hand, grinning from ear to ear.

 

“Are you gonna let me in? Or do I have to camp out here?” The girl asked with a grin. She quite liked her father’s cousin even if she sometimes went on a rant about things that no one besides the doctor understood. Jessica couldn’t really complain since those rants-slash-lectures had proven useful in a test or two at school.

 

Maura sighed and smiled “Come on in Jess. It’s nice to see you again. You’ve grown a lot since the last time we saw each other…”

 

“You can relax, you know? Just because I’m a teen doesn’t mean I do everything most teens do… I do try to stay out of trouble…” The cheeky grin portrayed exactly the opposite notion and Maura couldn’t help but chuckle.

 

Jessica Isles was 17 years old, tall, blonde and everything Maura was not ready to deal with for a full month. The medical examiner was certainly not prepared to take care of a teenager for such an extended period – she didn’t even know what kind of food the girl might like or what her favourite colour was. Data was important for problem solving and _that_ Maura didn’t have, not much of it anyway. Hence the desire to flee and regroup.

 

What Dr. Isles didn’t know was that Fate, or whatever one would like to call it, had decided to give her a good kick in the butt that would make her finally realize that her feelings for one certain detective were not gonna bring the world crashing down on her.

 

******

 

Monday morning found Jane Rizzoli sitting at her desk shuffling papers around and drinking coffee. Surprisingly, there were no pending cases or paperwork, which was quite the oddity. Of course as soon as the detective thought of this, her desk phone rang and she was being called out to a crime scene.

 

When she arrived at the expensive looking house, Maura was striding up the driveway and through the front door, so she hurried to catch up, never noticing the teenage girl climbing out of her friend’s Mercedes and leaning against the hood to take in her surroundings.

 

“Holy crap!” Was the first comment Maura heard as Jane stepped into the master bedroom. “What is that smell?!”

 

“A week old decomp…” Korsak said as he was leaving the room “Frost is at the other end of the house.” He added with a smirk.

 

The brunette rolled her eyes and clamped two fingers over her nose, peeking into the bathroom where the medical examiner was crouched next to the tub.

 

“I’ll be right back, I just need to make a phone call.” The man said, leaving the two women alone with a very smelly corpse.

 

“Hey, Maura. What have we got?” The doctor gave her a friendly smile, which sent the butterflies in her stomach into a whirlwind.

 

“Well, as you can see here and… here…” The blonde pointed at two circular shaped wounds on the victim’s torso “These are gun shot wounds, but I can’t tell you much more until the autopsy since he’s…well…”

 

Jane grimaced; the smell was atrocious. “Do you think there might be any bullets… urghh, in there?” She waved toward the man soup filling the tub. She almost felt like running from the room like Frost.

 

Maura raised an eyebrow and Jane rolled her eyes. “God woman, this is not guessing!” the detective shook her head. “If he was shot in the tub there would be bullets right? Unless they went down the drain…” She added with a grin, making the other woman chuckle.

 

“It is highly doubtful that any projectiles, no matter how small, would fit past the grating covering the drain. Then there’s the U or S-shaped trap that prevents smells from coming back out…”

 

Jane blinked several times “Maura. Really, you’re giving _me_ a lecture on plumbing?” The doctor grinned and went back to her perusal of the body, taking notes on her chart.

 

The detective shook her head in amusement and went back into the bedroom. She took a look at the few pictures sitting on the dresser, making a mental note to ask either Korsak or Frost about the victim’s wife. The brunette passed by the window overlooking the front yard intent on inspecting the bedside table, when something caught her eye.

 

“Hey, who’s that girl leaning against your car?” She shouted into the bathroom.

 

“That would be the new woman in Dr. Isles’ life.” Korsak replied entering the room again.

 

Jane frowned. New woman in Maura’s life? Come again? The _girl_ barely looked twenty years old, much less like someone her blonde friend would date. The girl was wearing baggy jeans and a jumper and- Wait… Maura dating a _woman_?!

 

Korsak watched in amusement as different emotions flitted across his former partner’s face. He knew just what kind of feelings the brunette had for the good doctor and in his opinion the whole situation was starting to get extremely old. The looks, the flirting, the going out for drinks after work – the signs were all there, though neither woman seemed to take notice. He was sure they would eventually realize their feelings for each other, but in the meantime he would have some fun.

 

“It would seem she moved in this weekend, all the way from Florida…” The older detective wanted to laugh at Jane’s wide eyes.

 

“Moved in?! From Florida? _What_?!” She asked, her voice becoming squeakier toward the end.

 

Just then Maura came out of the bathroom, snapping her gloves off. She took one look at Jane’s distressed expression and rushed to her side, the concern evident in her voice. “Jane, are you alright? What happened?”

 

Korsak couldn’t help but chuckle “We were just talking about the new woman in your life doc. She’s quite the charming young lady…”

 

“What? New woman in my life?” The blonde looked confused at first but then smiled “Oh, you mean Jess? Yes, I’m sure she’s quite the charmer… I believe she gets it from her father.”

 

Jane let out a strangled noise, Maura glancing at her in concern. “Jane?”

 

“Why didn’t you tell me?!” The detective demanded in a heated voice.

 

The M.E. raised an elegant eyebrow in question “Tell you what? That my cousin’s daughter was coming for a visit? I did tell you that, last week remember? When you came into the morgue and I was…” She trailed off, recalling the small panic attack she was having over having a teenager pop into her life out of nowhere.

 

The brunette’s ‘deer caught in the headlights’ look and quiet ‘Oh…’ were too much. Korsak started laughing.

 

Jane blushed and cleared her throat. Maura looked between the two detectives, absolutely confused about what was going on.

 

******

 

Two hours later, Jess walked into the morgue, her nose twitching in disgust “Urgh, hell! How can you stand this smell?”

 

“Breathe through your mouth, it helps.” The doctor advised, returning her attention to her Y-incision “What have you been up to?”

 

The girl pulled her hair into a ponytail and then clamped a hand over her nose and mouth, taking a few steps closer to the autopsy table. “I was talking with Detective Korsak. He is really nice and funny.”

 

Maura pulled back the skin and retrieved a bone saw to extract the rib cage.

 

“Oh hell…” The girl muttered once she took a look at the squished and gooey internal organs “Why is he so… yucky?”

 

The doctor chuckled at the word choice “This happens when a body decomposes in water. Putrefaction sets in with fluids and gases building up and leading to the swelling we can see and-”

 

“Maura, please spare us the details.” Jane entered the morgue, one of her hands immediately covering her nose. “The smell is bad enough. I don’t need added visuals of what happens when a body decomposes…”

 

The blonde pouted behind her surgical mask, but acquiesced, continuing her work.

 

“You must be Jessica then?” The detective turned to the girl. “Please tell me you are not following in her footsteps to become a medical examiner…” She extended a hand “I’m Detective Rizzoli, which I’m sure Korsak told you. You can call me Jane.”

 

The blonde laughed. “I am certainly not thinking of working in the coroner’s office. And it’s Jess. Only my mother calls me Jessica and _that_ is never a good sign…” They shook hands. “So you’re the famous Detective Rizzoli…” the girl said with a grin “Maura spent the whole weekend talking about you…”

 

A scalpel hit the metal table with a clang, the doctor scrambling to pick it up. “I did not spend the weekend talking about Jane.” She defended, thanking the heavens that she was wearing a surgical mask that concealed most of her blush.

 

The girl raised an eyebrow and looked between the two women. She could just make out the blush on the M.E.’s cheeks and the detective was blinking rather confusedly. “Ha, who would have thought… Detective Korsak was right…” She muttered to herself. “Absolutely clueless… _Anyway_ …” Jessica smirked knowingly and changed the subject “So, what killed this man? A bubble bath?”

 

Jane frowned. Had she heard that right? And what was Korsak right about?

 

“I can’t tell for sure yet.” The doctor replied, more than happy to focus on her autopsy and save herself any more embarrassment. “He was shot twice, but…” She opened the victim’s trachea finding water inside it “There are signs of drowning as well.”

 

“Maybe he was shot and then dunked in the bathtub?” Jane wondered.

 

“You’re speculating again. He could have been dunked first and then shot…” Maura said pointedly, grinning when the brunette started chuckling.

 

“Dunked and then shot?” The detective wondered, trying to contain her mirth. “Well, that’s one way of killing someone… Although a bubble bath is also something to consider.” Jessica laughed.

 

******

 

_About a week later…_

 

Maura led a far too cheerful Jessica down the street toward the bar she and Jane usually had after-work drinks at. “What has got you in such a cheery mood?” She asked.

 

The girl grinned. “Jane said she’d take me to play some baseball tomorrow and then watch the game in the afternoon.”

 

“You’re spending the whole day together?” The doctor tried to keep the disappointment out of her voice, but Jessica still heard it.

 

“Aww, don’t worry. You’re invited. Wouldn’t want you to get jealous of your girlfriend spending time with me or anything…” She said cheekily and quickly scampered away to join Jane in the booth, leaving a shocked Maura standing in the doorway.

 

“What did you do to her?” The detective inquired as the girl settled herself in front of her.

 

“I just told her she could come play baseball with us tomorrow.” Jessica replied, innocent smile on her face.

 

Jane furrowed her brow in disbelief, eyes tracking her friend’s movement, as she shook her head, walked up to the bar to request a drink and then joined them in the booth. The teenager giggled at the look on the blonde’s face.

 

“Are you alright Maura? You look a bit flushed…” The detective commented, taking a sip from her beer.

 

Maura made an affirmative noise and then drank half her wine glass in one go. Jane blinked, mouth hanging open.

 

“Should I bring another one?” The waitress asked, sliding a coke across the table to a smirking Jessica. Receiving a nod, she quickly went back to the bar to get another wine glass.

 

“Maura?”

 

“I’m fine, Jane. Don’t worry. I’m just peachy…” The doctor replied, finishing her wine and grabbing her second glass.

 

“Peachy? _Peachy_?” The brunette asked in alarm. Maura did not use words like _peachy_!

 

Jessica burst out laughing, the blonde sitting next to her turning a fetching shade of red that actually made Jane smile.

 

******

 

_Four days later…_

 

“How can they be so blind?” Jessica asked her new friend Detective Korsak. “The entire time Jane and I are playing baseball, Maura’s eyes are _glued_ to her. Like, really glued. It wasn’t directed at me and _I_ could _feel_ it!”

 

Korsak smiled at the girl sitting next to him at his desk, while he filled out some paperwork. “You think that is bad? I’ve been seeing it for… three years now… There’s the exchange of looks, the flirting over dead bodies…”

 

“Eww, they flirt over dead bodies? Really?” The girl passed a file to the man, so he could sign it and then set it on his pile.

 

“Ha! I bet they are doing it right now. Jane just went downstairs to get an autopsy report.”

 

The girl sprung to her feet with a wicked grin and raced out of the bullpen toward the elevators, Korsak chuckling at her antics.

 

When the elevator stopped on the morgue floor, the teen exited and made her way quietly down the corridor, trying to hear any snippets of conversation, before she was seen lurking around. Damn those glass walls!

 

“So now you’re not opposed to the idea of having kids?” Came Maura’s voice.

 

“I didn’t say that. Just because I like Jess, doesn’t mean I want to have kids. They are noisy, never do what you tell them to do and you have to worry all the time.”

 

“They also make you smile, draw you nice pictures, play baseball with you…” The doctor countered with a smile.

 

“Well, you have the kids then and I’ll play baseball with them. I’ll teach your daughter to hit the ball and kick the boys’ asses when they annoy her and I’ll leave the schooling and worrying to you. How’s that sound?” Jane proposed with a grin.

 

Maura chuckled “And what next? You’ll move in and I’m supposed to be cooking you dinner and such?”

 

“Well, of course!” The detective drawled, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

 

“Korsak was right! They’re flirting over a dead body.” Jess murmured, quickly clamping a hand over her mouth.

 

“What did you say?” Jane asked, swiveling around to see the girl standing in the doorway, giggling to herself.

 

“Oh, nothing. Nothing at all.” She stepped into the room and pretended to look at the body from different angles “Don’t mind me, I’m just passing by. Needed to stretch my legs, you know?”

 

The detective didn’t believe her. At all.

 

“Is that teenage code for something?” Maura questioned, looking a bit confused.

 

The girl thought for a moment and smirked “Well, it could mean: “I was actually listening to you flirting over a dead body and don’t want you to know what I was doing.”, or “I came to see a dead body and just happened to hear you flirt over said dead body.”, or even “Oh my God! I can’t believe you’re flirting over a dead body!”. Or it could just be exactly what I said: I’m just passing by to stretch my legs.”

 

Jane and Maura blinked. Several times.

 

“Say, did Korsak give you some of his coffee?” The detective wondered, giving the girl a suspicious look, before turning to her friend “This is exactly why I don’t want to have kids. They don’t make any sense.”

 

Maura just stared and recalled the conversation she and the brunette were having before Jess had interrupted: Jane didn’t want kids because of (she gave her reason); she countered that kids weren’t all that bad because (enumeration of her reasons); Jane suggests she would teach baseball and other practical things to her (Maura’s) daughter, while leaving schooling to her; she flirts back, saying that next she would be cooking and- Wait, wait, wait! She _flirted_ back? And _cooking_ for Jane?

 

Jess watched as her father’s cousin turned redder than a tomato. The two women were so clueless it wasn’t even funny.

 

Except it was.

 

She burst out laughing.

 

Jane scratched the back of her neck and wondered what was so funny. She also wondered why the idea of teaching Maura’s daughter some baseball made her feel all funny inside. She actually liked the idea of a tiny version of Maura hitting the ball for the first time and then jumping up and down excitedly, while the blonde watched from the side lines, a proud smile on her face.

 

******

 

Rizzoli spent the rest of the day sitting at her desk and doing paperwork, while sporting a small silly grin on her face.

 

Frost would give her questioning looks, but decided against asking.

 

Korsak knew better and asked Jess instead. When she explained what had happened in the morgue, he’d chuckled, even though they couldn’t be sure about what the woman was smiling about. However, it was progress and more than he’d witnessed in the last two years. So he and Jess decided to try and speed things along.

 

******

 

_That evening…_

 

Jess sat on the kitchen floor feeding Maura’s pet tortoise. Jane watched their interaction with a furrowed brow, while Maura bustled about the space setting the table for when their food arrived.

 

“That expression might be cute, but it doesn’t suit you…” The doctor commented, holding out a glass of wine to her friend and taking a sip of her own.

 

Jane looked at the blonde and grinned. “Thanks for letting me know.” Maura smiled. “But I don’t understand this… fascination… with a turtle.”

 

“It’s a tortoise.” Jess corrected, grabbing another strawberry. “Turtle. Tortoise. Not the same thing.”

 

The detective wasn’t convinced. “What’s the difference then?”

 

“Turtle, although used as a general term, is used for species that live in water habitats. Tortoise refers to land-dwelling species.” Maura explained.

 

Jane watched as Bass, tortoise not turtle, munched on a strawberry. Slowly.

 

The blonde woman chuckled at her friend’s unconvinced expression and, in a spur of the moment act, kissed her on the cheek and returned to setting the table.

 

Jane blinked; then blushed.

 

Jess gaped, Bass trying to get her attention again so he could have another treat.

 

******

 

“Yes, dad, everything is great here. How are you and mom?” Jessica listened to her father, phone pressed between shoulder and ear, while scrubbing and drying the dishes. Bass was keeping her company, lazily watching her every movement.

 

Jane and Maura had disappeared into the living room, where they’d settled on the couch.

 

“So, this cousin of yours, Jess’s father, is he rich too?”

 

“I’m not rich.” Maura huffed.

 

“Of course not.” Jane scoffed “You just drive a Mercedes that would take me a few years worth of salary to pay and always dress like you’re about to do a photo shoot. So obviously you’re not rich…” She grinned to take the sting out of her words.

 

Her friend glared and poked her on the side “You think you’re very funny…”

 

The brunette’s grin widened “I _am_ funny!” Then something else occurred to her “Although I’m not entirely sure why Jess is always giggling and laughing without me saying anything. Do you know what it is that she finds so amusing?”

 

Maura shook her head.

 

“What I find amusing is the fact that it took me all of a minute to figure something about the two of you out, while you don’t have a _clue_ about what is right in front of your noses…” The girl said, before disappearing with a grin. “No dad, I was talking to Maura.”

 

The two women watched her retreat back into the kitchen with elevated eyebrows.

 

“What is the girl talking about?” Jane sounded aggravated.

 

“The important question here is why I agreed for her to stay here for a month, when I know nothing about teenagers. If she gets herself a boyfriend while she’s here, what am I supposed to do?”

 

The detective blinked at the completely unrelated subject. “I think you’re doing fine, honestly. I mean, aside from her, sometimes, odd behaviour, everything else is fairly simple to understand. She’s blonde and has blue eyes, she likes to skateboard, her favourite food is Italian, she spends too much time around Korsak, which isn’t necessarily a good thing, she knows the difference between a turtle and a tortoise…” Maura chuckled, while her friend continued enumerating everything they knew about Jess “… she plays baseball, extremely well if I may say so, she’s well behaved, didn’t throw up when we had that decomposing corpse… Should I continue or do you think we have enough data for you to survive another two weeks or so with her around?”

 

“You’re making fun of me…” The doctor stated flatly, her lips twitching in amusement.

 

“No, I am merely pointing out that not everything in life can be solved with a mathematical, modeled, full of equations approach…”

 

Maura raised an eyebrow, but soon broke out into laughter, Jane grinning widely from ear to ear.

 

“What would I do without you?” the blonde asked quietly when the laughter died down.

 

“I guess you’ll never have to find out…” The detective’s smile was relaxed, but the seriousness in her voice made Maura pause and look at her.

 

Time seemed to stop while the two friends gazed at each other. Even Jess, who was crouched behind the kitchen counter with Bass next to her and watching the scene unfold, held her breath in the hopes that nothing would interrupt the moment and make her live through another week of lingering gazes and flirting over dead bodies.

 

Maura felt comfortable and warm, with Jane’s arm resting on the back of the couch behind her and the woman sitting so incredibly close. Had they been sitting so close before?

 

Jane was entranced, acutely aware of Maura’s perfume and nearness. It gave her funny ideas, such as leaning in and kissing her. It certainly wasn’t a new craving of hers; many times, she’d dreamed of doing just that, but she never did, for she knew her friend didn’t return her feelings. But at that moment it felt like a natural thing, to slowly close the distance and see recognition flash through expressive eyes, just before her entire being lit on fire from a mere touch of lips.

 

Watching as the kiss became deeper and more meaningful, Jessica Isles let out an excited, whispered ‘ _Yes_!’ and gave Bass a pat on the carapace. However, she had been so focused on the two women that she’d forgotten her father was still on the other end of the phone line. So, when her father’s yell came through the line she shrieked in surprise and fell on her ass with a thud, ruining the one moment she had wished would not be ruined. If he could, Bass would have laughed, but he settled for a mocking look.

 

Jane and Maura separated slowly. The moment, though ruined, had left them in a happy daze. The brunette gave a sweet smile, running a finger down the blonde’s cheek. Maura caught her hand and entwined their fingers. Then she blinked and looked over the back of the couch, seeing Jess get up with a huff and rubbing her sore ass.

 

“Dad! I’m here, I was just distracted… What?! No! I am not on a date with anyone!... I already have a girlfriend, remember?! I don’t think she would very much appreciate me flirting or being on a date with somebody else!” The girl paused looking at the phone in disbelief and turning beet red “DAD!! Will you stop that?!”

 

Jane burst out laughing at the girl’s aggravated and frustrated look.

 

******

 

_The next morning…_

 

Jane Rizzoli walked into the Homicide bullpen, with a spring in her step and a smirking teenager in tow. Not even Detective Crowe’s comment about her ‘shit-eating grin meaning she had gotten laid’, could deter the woman’s cheery mood. She plopped down in her chair whistling a happy tune, which made Detective Frost frown and look into his coffee cup, wondering if it had been doped with an illegal substance.

 

Detective Korsak merely raised an eyebrow, to which Jess gave a thumbs-up and a grin. The seasoned detective chuckled, thinking it was about damn time the two women figured it out.

 

Then all their phones started ringing simultaneously and the three detectives rushed out of the room to their respective crime scenes.

 

******

 

Dr. Isles was, for lack of a better word, buried underneath all the bodies brought in that morning, but the smile had never left her face. Not once had it faltered and Jess was beginning to wonder if she had looked so besotted when she’d started dating. And then Detective Rizzoli walked into the morgue and the girl let out a groan.

 

“Now, now… Don’t be such a teenager.” Jane tapped her on the head with a file she was holding, before turning her smile and dimples on the medical examiner. “Well, hello! Is the report on my victim ready or do I have to go kick Crowe’s ass for bribing you into working on his case first?”

 

“This is not normal, you know? People never look so smitten! I never did, never have and never will!” The blonde girl complained, seeing as the exchange of looks and flirting had not diminished but had, in fact, increased to an almost sappy romantic level.

 

“I disagree. Just last night your father told me all about your own silly grins and whistled tunes when you started dating Sarah.” Maura noted, handing the autopsy report to Jane. “Cause of death is arsenic poisoning and according to his stomach contents, the substance was being administered orally.”

 

Jess blushed and muttered to herself, Jane chuckling and throwing Maura a grin, before sauntering out of the room. “See you later!”

 

The M.E. squeezed the girl’s shoulder reassuringly, thinking back to her first reaction when her cousin had asked whether she wouldn’t mind having Jess visit her in Boston. Jane had been right: not everything in life could be dealt with analytically and the proof of that was in the girl’s presence. If it hadn’t been for that and her constant teasing (even if at the time neither she nor Jane had understood it), Maura doubted she and Jane would be starting the rest of their lives together.

 


	2. Phallus Shaped Objects

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A rewrite of the scene where Jane and Maura are discussing phallus shaped objects (season 1 ep. 6)  
> Jess thinks it's hilarious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing, except the original character.  
> Unbeated, so all mistakes are mine.
> 
> Spoilers: Season 1 Episode 6 "I Kissed a Girl".
> 
> My take on a particularly funny scene from the episode.

Jessica Isles sat on Jane’s chair, feet propped up on the desk while eating Chinese take out for lunch. The detective in question was interviewing a suspect and Dr. Isles was somewhere in a lab getting results on their ongoing case, so the teen had plopped down and gotten comfortable. It didn’t last long though, for her father’s cousin came bustling into the bullpen and the blonde girl almost chocked on a piece of chicken in her haste to get her feet off the desk.

 

She smiled innocently, Maura giving her a raised eyebrow. “You didn’t have your feet propped up against Jane’s desk, did you?”

 

Jess faked a look of surprise “What? No, of course not. It is considered bad manners and the ladies in our family are not known for behaving in such a way…”

 

The doctor’s second eyebrow joined it’s twin “Yes, the ladies…” She murmured suspiciously, before shaking her head in dismay.

 

The girl merely grinned and stuck her chopsticks back into the carton to grab some more chicken. “So, what’s up?” She asked curiously.

 

“Do you know where Jane is? The DNA results are back and I need to talk to her…”

 

“Yeah, she and Frost are interrogating a suspect.” She waved toward the interrogation rooms “I still say the wife did it…” She added, following after the doctor.

 

“Isn’t that a bit presumptuous?” The woman asked distractedly, pulling out her cell phone and calling the detective, who shortly afterwards came stomping out of the interrogation room.

 

“What is so important?” The woman demanded.

 

“Have you had lunch yet?” Maura asked, noticing the look Jane threw to Jess’s food.

 

The girl waved her chopsticks threateningly “Don’t look at my food like that! You can’t have it!”

 

The brunette rolled her eyes at the two blondes and swiveled around to continue grilling the bouncer, but the doctor stopped her.

 

“That’s not why I interrupted you…” Jane gave her a look indicating she should continue “I… extracted the killer’s DNA from the murder weapon.”

 

Jane seemed surprised by the revelation “Who is he?”

 

Maura glanced at the two way mirror, before turning back to her friend “Well, there was no match in CODIS, but… it’s not a _he_. It’s a _she_.”

 

“The killer’s a _woman_?” The detective was definitely surprised. The blonde nodded.

 

“Ha, I told you… The wife did it…” Jess muttered, biting into a piece of broccoli.

 

******

 

Maura led Jane to one of the labs, Jess following after them. She really had nothing better to do and no food left, seeing as the detective had looked at her carton pleadingly and then quickly eaten the rest of her chicken when she’d relinquished it with a sigh.

 

They strode in, Maura explaining that the deerskin fibers that she’d lifted from the murder weapon were from the killer’s glove. “The seams were breached and DNA testing confirmed that the sweat was from a female.”

 

“Okay, so the killer’s a woman and a male accomplice raped her.”

 

“No.” Maura countered. “The injuries are consisted with a non-biological phallus shaped object…”

 

Jess raised an eyebrow in amusement, especially at the doctor’s wording.

 

Jane quickly glanced at the lab tech sitting a few feet away from them and then back at the blonde “You mean a _dildo_?” She muttered.

 

The girl started laughing, quickly covering her mouth with a hand, the lab tech glancing at them oddly before returning to his task when the medical examiner turned to look at him. She then turned back to the brunette, an amused expression on her face.

 

“Yes… I believe that’s the popular term for it.” Jane nodded. “But did you know that a 28,000 year old stone phallus was recently found in a German cave? The ice age men were using it for… napping flints…”

 

The detective gave her a speculative look. “Huh… Ice age women were using it for making sparks too…”

 

Maura smirked at that.

 

The blonde teen looked at the two women with a frown, thinking she’d been given more information than she’d ever wanted to receive. And what was it with all the flirting over a conversation pertaining to phallus… shaped… objects? Jess groaned and quickly left the room.


	3. Undercover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A rewrite of the scene where Jane and Maura are in bed discussing Jane's online profile.  
> Jess tries to keep the two women in line.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing, except the original character.  
> Unbeated, so all mistakes are mine.
> 
> Spoilers: Season 1 Episode 6 "I Kissed a Girl".
> 
> My take on a particularly funny scene from the episode.

“You’re going to a lesbian bar? Undercover?” Jess inquired, eyebrows raised high on her forehead.

 

Jane’s brow furrowed. “Why do you sound so surprised? As if I haven’t been to a lesbian bar before…”

 

“You have?” Maura inquired with a frown. “When exactly?”

 

Realizing the potential trouble she could get into, the detective took a healthy sip from her wine glass and then flashed her smile and dimples at the not so amused medical examiner sitting on her couch. “Well, you know, I was there to interview the bartender… And the bouncer…”

 

Jessica started giggling, the brunette glaring at her.

 

“Really now?” The M.E. gave her a doubtful look, before getting up and disappearing further into the apartment.

 

“You are so totally not getting any… anytime soon…” The teenager said merrily. “Which reminds me… Have you actually gotten anywhere near ‘home run’ since you started seeing my dad’s cousin romantically?”

 

Jane growled, grabbing the laughing girl by her T-Shirt’s collar and dragging her to the bedroom, where Maura had settled herself on the brunette’s bed and was giving all her undivided attention to a very happy Jo Friday.

 

Jess grinned and jumped on the bed, joining in on the petting, the small dog panting in approval with her tongue sticking out. “You’re such a cute dog!” The teenager giggled. “So, how are you getting the potential killer’s attention? Strut into the bar and do a strip tease?”

 

The detective scowled and flopped onto the bed.

 

Maura liked the idea of seeing Jane do a strip tease. A lot. But that wasn’t gonna happen and certainly not for the benefit of other women. Except herself. So she focused the conversation on the two hours she’d spent with Frost and Korsak creating Jane’s profile.

 

“Frost and Korsak wanted to fill out your dating profile. I typed.” She took a sip from her wine glass.

 

The detective’s head popped up from her pillow “You what?!”

 

“If it wasn’t for me, you’d be butch.” She got up to get the other woman’s laptop and show her their handy work.

 

Jess watched the exchange with a twinkle in her eyes. Jo Friday thought the conversation was absolutely ridiculous and scampered out of the room.

 

“You put my photo and profile on a gay dating website?” Jane was a bit stunned.

 

“Well, it’s your best shot at getting DNA and breaking the case.” The blonde stated, returning to the bed.

 

“No, no. _Our_ best shot. You are coming with me.”

 

Maura frowned. “No.”

 

“Yes!”

 

“No.

 

“Yes you are. I don’t have time to train a female detective on the do’s and don’ts of DNA collection. So you’re going!” Seeing the unconvinced look on the blonde’s face, the brunette smirked. “Once I’m done, I’ll buy you a drink.”

 

“And how’s that going to convince her?” Jess inquired, crossing her legs and facing the two women. “You’ll be buying drinks to all your dates.” She grinned cheekily, only to have two pillows thrown at her head, one from each woman. The teen shrieked and fell off the bed.

 

Maura turned the laptop to Jane. “Here, take a look. All these women think you’re hot.” She said with a tiny smirk.

 

The detective raised a curious eyebrow “Wow. Really?”

 

The blonde smacked her on the arm.

 

Jane smiled innocently “Well, you know… not that I would… Do _you_ think I’m hot?”

 

The medical examiner raised an eyebrow and smirked, leaning closer to the other woman and giving her a sensual kiss. “Very hot…”

 

The brunette grinned and pulled her down for another kiss, laptop and undercover assignment completely forgotten.

 

Until a pillow hit them and forced them apart.

 

“Ladies, _focus_!” Jessica demanded, rubbing her sore lower back and getting back on the bed. She waved the second pillow threateningly in the air. “There’s a killer to catch and you will not be going any further than first base until you do so.” The two women glared at her. The teen grinned and scooted up the bed, settling herself between them. “So, who’s checked your profile so far?” She asked curiously.

 

“You do realize one of these women could be Katie’s killer…”

 

“Not this one. Listen… She likes to hike, has season tickets to the Celtics…” Maura enumerated.

 

“Ooh, front row too!” The blonde teen said excitedly.

 

Jane’s eyes lit up “Really?”

 

The two of them leaned in closer to the screen, while Maura rolled her eyes and pulled up another message. “I don’t understand online dating. People reveal too much about themselves… Like this one: ‘I want to connect with someone who can make me more of who I am…’.”

 

“ ‘Who can be strong without needing me to be weak…’. Oh dear…” Jane finished reading and rolled her eyes.

 

“Urgh…” Jess added, making a sour face.

 

Maura chuckled closing the laptop and setting it aside. She leaned back against the propped up pillows. Jess flopped down and Jane crossed her hands behind her head.

 

“So, who’s the guy in this relationship?” The teen asked with a grin.

 

“I am.” The detective answered promptly.

 

The M.E. glanced over at the teenager “That is such a cliché.” Then she looked at Jane. “And why are you the guy?”

 

“Well, because.”

 

“Because you’re bossy?”

 

“So are you!” Jane countered.

 

“I am not!” Maura defended.

 

“Oh yes you are. You’re just soft and polite when you’re bossing people around.”

 

Jessica laughed “Umm, hello? The teenager is still in the room…”

 

“Well, it’s a good thing you’re not my type…” Maura said with a grin, ignoring the girl’s comment.

 

Jane pretended to look affronted “What do you mean I’m not your type?! That’s just _rude_ …” They burst out laughing.

 

Jess frowned “Will you not flirt while I’m here? Especially when I’m lying here in between the two of you so you can’t make out and traumatize me?”

 

Jane and Maura stopped laughing and looked at each other. Then at the teenager, who became worried at the twin smirks settling on the women’s faces. Before the girl could say anything, the two women leaned over her and kissed.

 

“Oh, hell no!” She clamped a hand over her eyes, while trying to wrestle them apart with her other arm. “Stop it!”

 

The detective chuckled and the medical examiner smiled in amusement. They both leaned down and kissed the girl’s cheeks simultaneously. Jessica squealed in surprise and jumped out of the bed, dashing out of the room, grumbling about sappy women.

 

“Well, that’s one way of getting rid of her…” Jane mumbled, grabbing a grinning Maura around the waist and pushing her back to the bed. “Now Dr. Isles, how about we make sure I don’t think about any other women except you, when we’re undercover tomorrow?” She proposed, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

 

The blonde merely pulled her down, while somewhere in the living room Jess turned on the TV and raised the volume.


	4. The Next Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A rewrite of the scene where Jane and Maura are discussing the appropriate attire for undercover work at the bar.  
> Jess does not know what to do with these women.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing, except the original character.  
> Unbeated, so all mistakes are mine.
> 
> Spoilers: Season 1 Episode 6 "I Kissed a Girl".
> 
> My take on a particularly funny scene from the episode.

Jess was having a rather pleasant dream when she was rudely awoken by a dog barking. She shot up and promptly fell off the couch she had been sleeping on with a yelp and a loud thud.

 

Jo Friday scampered into the living room, just as the girl sat up bleary eyed, hair sticking every which way and looking confusedly around. The dog padded happily toward her bed and curled up, watching the still half asleep teen with curious doggy eyes.

 

“Wha-?” Jess mumbled rubbing at her eyes, her vision still fuzzy.

 

Groaning could be heard coming from somewhere deeper in the apartment. The girl stumbled to her feet and walked unsteadily toward the source of noise, stopping in the bedroom doorway and blinking confusedly.

 

Jane was spread out on the bed, hair in a similar state as the teen’s and Maura was sitting cross legged, checking something on the brunette’s laptop, and looking pristine as ever.

 

“That’s not how you say it, Maura… It’s hook up _with_ you…” The brunette mumbled, taking a moment to raise her head and look at the bleary eyed girl standing in the doorway.

 

The blonde woman pondered Jane’s statement for a moment “Whatever…” she replied. “Hello, Jess. Did you sleep well?”

 

The girl nodded, scratching the back of her head and yawning widely.

 

“Whatever? Really? I’m the one hooking up…” The detective grumpily stated “And where exactly did you sleep?” She asked the blonde teen.

 

“Well, _pretending_ to…” Maura gave the other woman a pointed look that clearly indicated she would not be pleased if Jane hooked up with women aside from her. She then handed the laptop to the detective and got up from the bed, stretching gracefully.

 

Jess padded to the bed and collapsed on it face first, mumbling something about having slept on the couch. Jane took a cursory glance through her emails and then flopped backwards, wanting to go back to sleep. She patted the girl next to her, giving her a grin and then closing her eyes and groaning some more.

 

The doctor shook her head in amusement at their antics “If I didn’t know better I’d say you’re Jane’s relative not mine…”

 

They both raised their heads simultaneously to glare at her before lying back down.

 

Maura chuckled and opened the brunette’s closet, looking for something the woman could wear for her undercover assignment. She was not happy with what she found.

 

“Uh oh…”

 

“What?”

 

The doctor pushed a few hangers aside “Now I understand why you always _look_ like this…”

 

Jess turned over so fast she ended up falling off the bed with another yelp and thud. Jane sat up and gave the medical examiner an incredulous look “ _Excuse me?!_ ”

 

“You have nothing to wear.”

 

The detective blinked several times trying to determine whether the conversation was actually taking place or if she was still asleep. The blonde girl sat up, glancing between the two women, before quickly crawling out of the room when they started bickering about appropriate dress code for undercover assignments.

 

Jo Friday followed the girl’s movements toward the couch with a raised doggy eyebrow.

 

******

 

_Later that morning…_

 

Jane looked at the pink flowery dress dangling in front of her with suspicion and a bit of amusement. Sitting next to her, Jess wondered if her father’s cousin was completely crazy.

 

“Umm… it’s ah… it’s perfect. Where exactly am I going to hide the camera and the wire?” Maura seemed as if she’d forgotten that little detail. “Oh I know! In my thong!”

 

Korsak chuckled, Jess snorted. The girl hoped off the desk and joined the senior detective at his desk. “They’ve been arguing all morning about this…” She whispered to him “I would think they’d want to discuss getting _out_ of clothes, not what to wear to a lesbian bar…” She said a bit more loudly, so the women would hear.

 

Frost smirked but pretended to be busy with his files. Korsak chuckled again and the blonde girl smiled innocently when the two women glared her way.

 

“Okay. Fine. You don’t want my help.” Maura sulked, putting the dress away “It’s like trying to dress a squirmy six year old anyway. Everything’s too short, too itchy, ‘ _I can’t walk in that…_ ’”

 

Jess frowned knowing the woman was referring to her and the time her family had visited the medical examiner when she was six.

 

Jane smiled “Maura, we all love the fact that you dress like you’re about to strut down a Paris runway. It’s… it’s interesting.”

 

The teenager rolled her eyes. Really? _Interesting_? The two women had almost made it to third base the previous evening and all the brunette could come up with was _interesting_?! She vowed to teach her some proper adjectives before she returned home to Florida.

 

“It’s endearing.” Frost added.

 

“Sexy.” Came Korsak’s comment and grin.

 

Four heads swiveled to look at him oddly. He frowned.

 

Jess slapped a hand to her forehead in utter dismay. The morning kept getting weirder and weirder.


End file.
